Hello ladies and gents.
So here’s a piece of my story.
When my husband and I first began our teaching careers, we were on a mission to save the world. We were brought back to earth really quickly. We felt so unsatisfied. Truth be told, we thought we made the biggest mistake of our lives and wasted a bunch of money on something we didn’t want to spend 30-35 years doing. We didn’t know teaching would feel like going to war every day.
For me, there was and sometimes still is an inner battle. The problem has never been my love for my kids. I love them and work hard to help them. They keep me laughing. I keep in contact with quite a few of them today. My battle has been the pay freezes and reductions; lay-offs; and a system designed to see inner city kids fail (that’s a topic for another day).
Anyway, my husband and I started looking for something else. During our search we were presented with a business opportunity. We didn’t know anything about network marketing or the company, other than seeing one of its locations on the service drive near our home. We did some research and jumped right in. Just like with teaching, we were on another mission to save the world. We really gotta stop it with this save the world thing. My husband was also frustrated with his job and we decided it was best for him to resign and work the business full time.
It was a failure. It was a flop. We worked hard, but we couldn’t make enough people see our vision. We were licensed, attending 10 pm to 12 am (sometimes even later) team meetings, setting appointments with clients who were no-shows, talking to people in grocery stores, and studying the techniques of the “greats” in the industry and still Nothing.
Any negative emotion you can think of, we felt it when we decided to quit. We made the final decision to leave the business after our daughter passed. We had nothing left to give to this thing. We were broken-hearted from that situation and our failure in the company just made it worse.
After the smoke cleared, you couldn’t talk to us about any business. We were done. Every time we drove pass the building our hearts were flooded with negativity. I remember even rattling off a few curse words for awhile. We thought business was not for us. We felt ashamed and embarrassed. We rehearsed the situation repeatedly in the confines of our home and rarely discussed it with anyone. We remained this way for a few years.
One day, something changed.
We grew up, pulled up our big boy and girl pants. We asked ourselves, “How do we teach our sons to get up after a fall if we can’t do it?” So, the healing process started and this is what we learned.
1. The FEELING of defeat is just a feeling.
We realized that feeling defeated was an emotional response to a situation that didn’t turn out as expected. We tried something new and it didn’t work. Big deal. So what?
We put too much stock into those negative feelings. We should have done like our pastor said and mentally “changed the channel” whenever that negativity tried invading our heart and mind spaces. We allowed those negative feelings to paralyze us and cause us to avoid trying anything new.
Message: You are only defeated if you never try again. Babies fall when learning to walk and they get back up. If they cry, it is only for a moment. In fact, they keep getting up until they learn to walk. It’s time to get out of your feelings and leave your crying stage.
2. Focus on the lessons learned.
We forgot about the valuable lessons we learned and the awesome people we met. We forgot that we truly learned the meaning of “step out on faith.” We forgot the work ethic we developed in the process. It’s easy to work and get a guaranteed paycheck. We worked without that guarantee. We were so confident that we could make it work.
We forgot that life is a series of steps that take us down different roads. Some roads are beautifully landscaped and others are covered in weeds, dirt, and other debris.
Message: Don’t get so caught up in the end result. Look for the takeaways and apply them to the next move. Failure at one opportunity does not equal failure in ALL opportunities. Make a choice to dust off your knees, find the lesson to be learned and keep moving forward.
These lessons can be applied to multiple areas of life.
Without these lessons, I would not have my husband. When we met I hated (feelings) men and relationships. I was done with love and wanted to be alone forever. But, I gave it a try. Those past experiences taught how to spot my Mr. Right. We’ve been together 12 years now.
We also would not have our youngest sons because of the hurt and pain from our daughter’s death. We stepped out on faith and trusted God to bring us through.
I would not be writing this if it weren’t for these lessons. I briefly tried blogging before and lost my blog when I left another business venture. I refused to give-up on my passion and I tried again. And here we are.
So, don’t give-up on yourself.
Don’t let that past situation drive the rest of your future. Take back your control. Stop being so emotional that you can’t find the takeaways. Get out of your feelings. Reflect (yes, mentally go back) on that situation. Find your takeaways and keep moving forward.
Stay tuned for I talk to myself when there is no one to talk to (kinda sorta)