I talk to myself…Not really, but kinda sorta.
What I mean is that we communicate with ourselves all the time. You know those knots you feel in the pit of your stomach when you get nervous or afraid? Communication
Or what about that stupid voice in the back of your mind that says you will never recover from that setback? Communication
Or that same crazy voice that tells you there’s no point in following your dream or asking for a promotion or asking for a raise or looking for a new career…YOU WILL FAIL?!!! Communication
I know this voice. You know this voice. It’s annoying. It doesn’t scare off easily. It seems to only pop up when we want to make a change in our lives.
Here’s a story for you…
It was October 2004. My now-husband took me to Cedar Point in Sandusky, Ohio. He asked me to ride the Millennium Force. I am a roller coaster rider, but there are a few I don’t mess with. I said alright and we got in line.
Then it started…
The closer we got to the front of the line the more my stomach turned. I thought I was going to use the bathroom on myself (T.M.I. I know, but you know that feeling). Then, I heard that stupid voice that said “Just get out of line, you know you are scared.”
Herein lies the choice…
Give-in to the stomach knots and voice and get out of line. Or be a gangsta (riding roller coasters is gangsta for some of us) and ride anyway.
I chose the latter. I decided not to back down. To look fear in the face and say “Not today.” Funny thing is after I made my decision I became silent. I didn’t want to talk about it. And even though my silence was out of fear, it was also my way of staying focused and preparing myself for the task of riding the Millennium Force. I had to find the inner strength to override my body’s reaction to my fear and that voice that started shouting for me to leave the line. I had to find another voice. One that said “You got this. You’re not a punk. It’s just a roller coaster.” I had to drown out that other stupid voice with my new voice. I didn’t tell my honey what was going on. This was me against me.
We got on the ride and when we reached the top of the first hill, he screamed “I love you Lady (my nickname).” I still said nothing.
My eyes were shut and I stayed silent the entire ride. But, who cares? I rode that thing baby, with fear and all. I got off that ride smiling and feeling proud. I conquered my fear of that roller coaster (If I could only do that and ride the Magnum for a second time.)
Now, my story about this roller coaster ride may seem a bit trivial, but I told it to make a point. More often than not we listen to those knots, the racing heart beat (I didn’t even talk about that part), and that stupid voice. We allow that stuff to paralyze us and stop us from moving our lives forward. Those things happen to us because we are attempting to step into the unknown. We don’t really know what’s on the other side of that new thing we desire and there’s a part of us that’s not too eager to find out.
We tell ourselves “Fill-in-the blank will never work.” Or “I’m going to fail, so there’s no point in trying.” Or “If I forgive Fill-in-the blank, what if it happens again?” And what about “There’s no way I can heal from Fill-in-the blank because it’s just too painful to heal from. “ And many times we think “Who are we to think that we could ever Fill-in-the blank?”
When these lies start to fill our minds we must make a choice. Either we can give-in and resume our present situations or we can fight back and move forward. We can dig deep down and find our real voice. The voice that says “I can do this and even if it doesn’t turn out as expected, I will be better because I tried.” Or “I am destined to be great.” And “I can heal from this.” And “I can forgive.” And mostly importantly “I am moving forward anyway.”
The time is NOW. Make a stand. Step out on faith. Talk to yourself. And MOVE FORWARD.
Stay tuned for Break in case of Emergency: For use on days when life has slapped my face again
What do you tell yourself when negative thoughts try to invade your mind?